Forgiveness Leads to Freedom

IF YOU WANT…                                                     YOU MUST…

PEACE--------------------------------------------------FORGIVE
JOY------------------------------------------------------FORGIVE & ACCEPT
LOVE----------------------------------------------------FORGIVE & LOVE YOURSELF
HAPPINESS--------------------------------------------FORGIVE & LET GO OF BITTERNESS
REST----------------------------------------------------FORGIVE & SIT WITH YOURSELF
FAITH---------------------------------------------------FORGIVE & BELIEVE
STRENGTH---------------------------------------------FORGIVE & DEPEND ON GOD
TRUST---------------------------------------------------FORGIVE & JUST DO IT
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS-------------------------FORGIVE & HEAL

    I have learned that FORGIVENESS means LETTING GO. Letting go of the pain. Letting go of the anger. Letting go of the resentment. If you don’t, you punish yourself, not the offender.  I always felt that God wanted me to forgive my offenders, particularly my father, but it felt too hard.  I thought that I couldn’t do it.  Actually, deep down inside, I didn't want to.  If I forgave my father, then it would be as if I were letting him off the hook. This was especially hard because he never said he was sorry for hurting me. What helped me along this process was a story found in Luke 15:11-32, known as the parable of the Lost Son. This is a very well known story, but God showed me something new.  

     When the father saw his estranged son walking along the road towards home, he immediately proceeded to prepare for a feast in honor of his son’s return. The father was wounded by his son’s behavior, yet he didn’t wait for the son to return to him and apologize.  He had mercy on his son, and forgave him.  When his son reached his father, he did apologize, but the father didn’t wait for that. “While he was still a long way off, the father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).  God was trying to tell me to let go of all the ugliness.  Just do it.  Don’t think about it, or feel those old, familiar, dark feelings.  Just let go. 

      Once I let go, and made the decision to love my father from that moment forward, without remembering his offenses, I saw a big difference in my marriage.  Prior to forgiving my father, I had a strong hatred and fear of men, even my own husband.  It wasn't easy for me to love my husband.  I always saw his faults.  I was always disappointed in the things he did, or didn’t do.  But after I forgave my father, I behaved differently with my husband.  I noticed a strong peace in me in every area of my life.  I found myself accepting my husband’s faults; accepting him for who he was.  I became a more loving wife.  I was married for six years prior to this moment of change.  I was able to see the difference that forgiving my father made in my life.  

      Forgiveness is a God-given gift. Accept it. Give the offense/offender to Him. He will exchange it with His peace.  

      A prayer: "I can't. You must. I'm Yours. Show me the way." 

***The above is an excerpt from my book "The Tin Man-The Voice of an Incest Survivor."